I can't say it doesn't hurt
I can't say I'm not bothered.

I can't say that because it would be a lie

If I can't be true to myself, what hope has anyone got?

Situations have returned to their complex state again.

Another agreed meeting. Another excuse. I do feel like a mug. I don't know wheter to believe the latest one or not. There are just so many holes. A lot of things that don't add up.

Things I wonder about. Things I wonder why. Why did she say "I have to go someone's coming" What's that about? Why does she have to go because someone has come?

I don't know. It is very confusing. When we're together, it's great. Perfect. Then the things that happen when we're not... it's just insane.

I still have to wonder who I am. I have a lot swirling round in my head. So swirled, it's tied up in knots. I can't unjumble it right now. I don't have time. So much has happened. So much complicated. I just can't afford this if it's a mistake, if it's a joke, if I'm being made a fool of. Even so, the good bits are so much better than the bad.

Is it better to regret the things I did do than regret the things I was too scared to do?

Now there's a question. Maybe I'm a complete fool.

Who am I?