I need to try and seek out something else now. It is hard. I loved her. I cared deeply about her. I knew she was lying to me. I just thought the pros outweighed the cons.

I can’t imagine any woman would be like her. So full of affection, her touch, the way she stroked my hair. The way she would pull gently on it. Her affection, the way we were more often or not in some kind of embrace. Holding hands, Arm around each other, cuddling, holding each other. The way she gently took my member in her mouth that last time. The way she called out my name as she came hard while I was once again struggling to climax. We were going for at least an hour. Boy was I sore. No, I’m not showing off. Usually I’d be lucky to last 30 seconds but it’s the damn Sertraline!

It all went wrong I caught her out in one of her lies.

I was going to stay in a hotel for four days from last Thursday. She had booked it (allegedly!) I was looking forward to seeing her again as I always did. I was still a bit guarded. The days before I was worried and scared she would call it off, like she usually did. Something would come up etc, etc I’ll write about that another day.

Wednesday night on the phone all was fine we chatted we talked. Text me when you leave tomorrow. I did. At 6:30 am before I embarked on the 4 hour drive. An hour later when I was just outside Silverstone she rang. I didn’t answer as I was driving. She sent a text soon after. Eventually I stopped when I needed the toilet. I read the text. “Can u hold off for a bit because I am feeling really rough today. I don’t want u to get sick too xxxx”

I carried on my journey. I didn’t care if I got sick. I just wanted to see her.

Then of course, I discovered it was one big lie. All of it.

We were going to get a flat together. It was cheaper to rent a flat than to stay in hotels all the time. She told me she had viewed one, she told me all the paper work had come through and it was all going through fine. We were going to start a business together.

Lies, all lies.

Now she has destroyed me. I’m upset. I just want to know why she lied to me, why she strung me along. I don’t understand why she would do that to me. We never argued, we never rowed, we never fought. All this time though she was playing some sick game with me. A joke. A fucking prank.

Now she’s saying all kinds about me. Saying I have sent her disgusting e-mails and I’m harassing her. No. All I have done is ask her why she lied to me and why she strung me along and why she said she loved me and why she said she would meet me if she didn’t want to.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to know that.

The problem is, everyone else believes her whatever it is she is saying. I have been driven out. Now everyone hates me just because I fell in love with her. If I had done anything wrong, I would hold my hands up. To make matters worse, a couple of other people have done their best to try and discredit me, purely because they have misinterpreted the written word. Not good. Not good at all.

What is really stupid is that I would take her back.

There is much, much more to this sorry tale.