Maria contacted me a few days back at the other place. We wrote to each other a few times. I let her know I was still interested. I told her she knows where I am if she ever changes her mind. She has said we'll try again.

We've spoke a few times on the phone. Twice today, twice yesterday. Something doesn't quite feel right.

I really need to distance myself a bit. Try not to get worked up by things, like waiting for her to call when she says she will and also try not to text her the times she doesn't.

I know she lies to me. I think she already has again! I guess I need to keep my emotions in check. Stay slightly more distant. We do really get on though. We make each other laugh. We have a lot in common, we also have our own interests. I enjoy being with her.

I'm going to wales tomorrow until Monday with my mum, her husband, his two sons, my sister and her partner, 'horror' my sisters dog and my mums dog which I can't think of a nick name for yet! Something to do. I'll have my mobile with me. I won't know what we'll be doing or where we'll be so it gives me an element of control over my situation with Maria. I'll just be able to text and say I have time to talk rather than arranging a time and worrying if she doesn't call.

I'm going to try and think of us not as a couple for now. If I see her again, well then I can change my mind on that. I'm not going to instigate going to see her. Partly because I can't afford it at the moment!

My business plans are creaking along. It's one step forward and two back at the moment. I've designed my logo and letterheads and got them printed. I'm not totally happy with them but it will do for now. I applied for an account at a wholesalers and was met back with a bit of snobbery. A slight stumbling block, especially as I got a bit shitty with them.

I've also applied for a business bank account. That had seemed promising to go through from my phone conversation and emails with them. I'm waiting for documents to arrive which were supposed to come in a couple of days from my application. They haven't. I don't know if there held up somewhere due to the random royal mail strikes (I still haven't worked out what their actual problem is) there was a delivery where we live but we didn't receive any mail.

I haven't had much time to read anyone elses blogs lately. Sorry about that. I do feel a bit bad. I'm not sure if I mentioned a Self Esteem course I'm doing. I'm not allowed to feel bad about that so I'll try not too!