She called tonight. We talked. For over an hour. I feel a bit bad about not believing her about her friend. I still don't fully. Too many things don't quite add up. I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

We mostly talked seriously. She told me how she was feeling about her friend, about herself and her own health issues. I asked her to try and explain more about her bipolar disorder. I'm glad I asked her. I feel a bit better informed in how it affects her and her reactions during the different moods.

She has told me she is more likely to push me away while she is down.

We also had a bit of a laugh. Talking about bees.

My random thought while running - bees. The bee keepers blow that smoke onto the bees. The bees associate the smoke with fire. Now surely, if I was a bee, after a while I'd get a bit fed up. There's obviously something not quite right. Every day some ba$t@rd set's fire to their home. That would be telling me I either need to call the authorities, have a bit of vigilanty (please excuse my spelling) revenge on the arsonist, or get the hell out of there but no. They don't have any common sense.

I'm noticing a slight parallel here. hmmmm.

The run started of ok today. One of the few times I've been happy to have a head wind, well, more of a breeze really. It was bloody hot! Slowed up a lot towards the end. I thought I was going to get back inside ten minute mileing but not to be. Not bad considering it was so hot. No problems with my breathing, just the usual leg strength issue and I was fighting my head today. It's hot you pr!ck! Stop! Stop! STOOOOOOP! When I wasn't thinking of bees of course.

More discussions with Maria. We talked about gardening, plants, whether birds have penis' and if they can change sex and the common greeting of asking someone if they're alright. The stock answer is usually to respond in the positive, regardless. Right or wrong?

There was one time I told someone how I feel.

"Alright?"

"No, I feel like sh!t"

You should have seen his face drop. He didn't actually want to know if I was alright at all.

I've told Maria she has an open invitation to come here. My dad's off on holiday for a couple of weeks tomorrow so I'll be home alone. That should make it easier for her with her panic attacks. I've said she can bring a friend too. No, not like that!

I won't really be able to go and see her because someone will have to feed the cat. I don't think I trust my sister to do so. I don't think the cat will stand up to a 4 hour + car journey either